Found some of these funny

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

DERAILED

A train that's left its tracks.

DEMOTED

A loss of rank or status.

DELAYED

An out of work prostitute.

BABY CHANGING ROOM

Fed up with your sprog? Well, take it along to the above!

SLOW CHILDREN

The sign outside every school in England!!!

HEAVY PLANT CROSSING

Watch out for the 50 ft Hippy Carrot!