post here if u see//hear something funny//cool

heres mine for today:
A: You can be my right hand
B: no thanks, ive seen what u been doing with your right hand

Teacher - Mr Halivaj "Oh i remember Thomas, Thomas Viduka?"
Me " No... Thomas Airlie"
Teacher -" Both pricks"

Coming from a teacher i enjoyed this one

Other one i heard was on "mock the week" Might be a lie

A kid (lets call him Tam) is bouncing something on the desk
The teacher becomes enraged and shouts "TAM HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I BANGED YOU ON THE DESK"

Both of which i enjoyed

A geniune phone call I received from a customer at Wickes today:

Customer: Hello, can I just confirm that I have a delivery coming tomorrow.
Luckie: Yeah certainly. It's definately coming tomorrow.
Customer: Good good... what have I ordered?

And another one from a person seeing if we had glass cutters:

Customer: Do you have any glass cutters?
Luckie: No sorry we don't.
Customer: Ah ok then. *picks up a tile scorer* This will do the same job shouldn't it? Coz this just erm.... scores tiles.

Also, we have a toilet called the Toilet to Go (meaning it's available to take away today). And some mature customer thought this was funny.....

FUCKING EEJIT! THEY'RE ALL NUMPTIES EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CUSTOMER! THE CRETINS!

people are the worst

Not really a quote I heard today, but reminded of it *today* due to this post.

On a Monday, my dad once said he wished it was Friday.

I got all stuck-up philosophical and told him he shouldn't wish away time.

He said, "Fine, I wish it was last Friday."

they are btw - customer service just makes you hate people.

And I swear McBeaton phoned Wickes up complaining about his Thermostatic Mixer Shower thermostat being broken and how he was really rude and how he seemed offended that he had to phone up the manufacturer himself to get it repaired. Sounded exactly like McBeaton. I hope it wasn't you though - that guy was a cock!

"To gain something in life, something of equal value must be given."
What you decide to give determines the cost.

Johannicus wrote:

that would imply that one's life is worth 5ml of sperm. (i dont even WANT to know how much ml it takes on average)

liger wrote:


I take it you didnt get it? Since parents usually take care of their kids after birth aswell. They pay for it every day!

Voltaire said:

Everything is bought and everything is sold, its just a matter of price...

Too true...